Today I am 50 years old! Wow. How did that happen?
Seems like yesterday when I was hanging out with my friends at Newport High School in the smoking area moaning about the hideous teddy bear coat that I wanted in 4th grade and my darling mother finally bought me in high school!
The things we suffer! LOL!
Today I'm going to pick up my new glasses and hope that I can see out of them perfectly! I'm going to buy a few Illinois state lottery tickets and I'm going to count every blessing in my life.
Not sure what I'm doing for the rest of the day but I'll figure it out as I go along.
Love,
Linder
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Generation "ME"
In talking about our children who are in the age group of around 18 to 22 ish years of age, I've found out recently that they are tagged "Generation Me". How appropriate is that?
I have been in touch with several friends and a few strangers here who have visited my blog and all of us have one thing in common. Children who have no living or coping skills.
How did this happen? It's not an isolated incident. It seems that every parent that I talk to is having issues with their child. They won't get a job or can't keep one. They are disconnected from the realities of the world and beg to be saved on a regular basis.
I look back on my parenting and I wonder what I could have done differently.
I heard a saying yesterday that went something like this "We can't move froward if we're looking in the rear view mirror". Ouch. I'm guilty of this especially right now.
If I could turn back the clock and do it all over again, I think I would have given my daughter more responsibility and taught her about money management. I would have encouraged her to be accountable for her actions and to take responsibility for herself.
Having said this, I think that I have been very present and that I have given my child a shiny box of tools for her to use in her life. But as a wise man once said "Just because you have a lot of tools, doesn't make you a carpenter"! In other words you have to use them for them to work. sigh.
I am trying desperately NOT to reside in morbid reflection. Everything is as it should be in spite of the pain that it elicits.
So the best i can do today is to pray for God's will and not mine. And ask for the grace to be quiet. To reside in love and to move forward.
"We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."
As I said yesterday, I have a magical opportunity in front of me. Am I brave enough to take it? Can I put my big girl panties on today and utilize some of those shiny tools I have?
I think so.
Hopefully this will not turn into "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride"!
Here's hoping our day is filled with unexpected abundance and the presence to say thank you when it comes!
With Love,
Linder
I have been in touch with several friends and a few strangers here who have visited my blog and all of us have one thing in common. Children who have no living or coping skills.
How did this happen? It's not an isolated incident. It seems that every parent that I talk to is having issues with their child. They won't get a job or can't keep one. They are disconnected from the realities of the world and beg to be saved on a regular basis.
I look back on my parenting and I wonder what I could have done differently.
I heard a saying yesterday that went something like this "We can't move froward if we're looking in the rear view mirror". Ouch. I'm guilty of this especially right now.
If I could turn back the clock and do it all over again, I think I would have given my daughter more responsibility and taught her about money management. I would have encouraged her to be accountable for her actions and to take responsibility for herself.
Having said this, I think that I have been very present and that I have given my child a shiny box of tools for her to use in her life. But as a wise man once said "Just because you have a lot of tools, doesn't make you a carpenter"! In other words you have to use them for them to work. sigh.
I am trying desperately NOT to reside in morbid reflection. Everything is as it should be in spite of the pain that it elicits.
So the best i can do today is to pray for God's will and not mine. And ask for the grace to be quiet. To reside in love and to move forward.
"We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."
As I said yesterday, I have a magical opportunity in front of me. Am I brave enough to take it? Can I put my big girl panties on today and utilize some of those shiny tools I have?
I think so.
Hopefully this will not turn into "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride"!
Here's hoping our day is filled with unexpected abundance and the presence to say thank you when it comes!
With Love,
Linder
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Day after.
Good Morning!
The sun is shining and although I had a hideous night last night, full of worry, anger and general angst...it is a new day today. I can make it whatever I want and today I choose to fill my day with love and hope. For my daughter but mostly for myself.
I cannot be of service to anyone least of all myself if I do not cherish myself and take the opportunity i have in front of me to grow and change.
I'm going to get quiet with that thought today and all it entails. I'll write more later if the clarity comes.
In the meantime, I want to thank all of you who left such lovely, supportive comments yesterday. I welcome you in this journey. Perhaps we can share our experience, strength and hope together.
I wish us all a day of blessings!
Much Love,
Linder
The sun is shining and although I had a hideous night last night, full of worry, anger and general angst...it is a new day today. I can make it whatever I want and today I choose to fill my day with love and hope. For my daughter but mostly for myself.
I cannot be of service to anyone least of all myself if I do not cherish myself and take the opportunity i have in front of me to grow and change.
I'm going to get quiet with that thought today and all it entails. I'll write more later if the clarity comes.
In the meantime, I want to thank all of you who left such lovely, supportive comments yesterday. I welcome you in this journey. Perhaps we can share our experience, strength and hope together.
I wish us all a day of blessings!
Much Love,
Linder
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Death Card
In a Tarot deck there is a card called the death card. It is really ugly and frightening looking and most people assume that it means that someone is going to die.
On the contrary, it means that an old way of life, old habits etc. are dying and something new is forming from that. Usually that something new is positive.
I have a beautiful daughter that is struggling with some pretty serious issues right now.
I made the very difficult choice to remove her from college in Boston and get her the help I feel she needs.
It was a tough weekend. My child was not particularly present even though she was physically there.
I cried a lot.
Flying home on the plane yesterday, with my childs head resting in my lap all snuggled up in the blanket that her Auntie made her, I was reminded of happier times when she was a baby and would lie snuggled into me just the way she was at that moment.
She was happy then and full of life. She'd reach her arms out for me to pick her up and she would smell like everything beautiful and hopeful in the world.
All that has changed these past few years and I find myself looking into a vacant face struggling very hard to feel nothing. This is not a phase of teenage angst she's going through, it's a huge red flag waving in front of my face.
So today I turn her over to God and trust that she is in the proper place with people who can help her with her problems.
I'll be honest and tell you that I am so consumed with fear for her. I don't know if she's going to be ok and for a Mother/Parent I think this is the worst feeling in the world.
This brings me back to the mention of the death card.
I see an old way of life for both of us ending and a pin prick of a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am now in the position of letting go with love and focusing on sweeping my side of the street and taking care of myself. Something which I have not been too good at for quite a while now.
I guess I'm feeling that i must find a rainbow here or it would all be for nothing. I want to connect with my God and learn the lessons that are in front of me and keep moving forward in love and lightness.
If you have a quiet moment today, please send up a prayer for my daughter.
Count your blessings today, for they are many. Hug your child and tell the people that matter to you most how important they are in your lives.
With Love,
Linder
On the contrary, it means that an old way of life, old habits etc. are dying and something new is forming from that. Usually that something new is positive.
I have a beautiful daughter that is struggling with some pretty serious issues right now.
I made the very difficult choice to remove her from college in Boston and get her the help I feel she needs.
It was a tough weekend. My child was not particularly present even though she was physically there.
I cried a lot.
Flying home on the plane yesterday, with my childs head resting in my lap all snuggled up in the blanket that her Auntie made her, I was reminded of happier times when she was a baby and would lie snuggled into me just the way she was at that moment.
She was happy then and full of life. She'd reach her arms out for me to pick her up and she would smell like everything beautiful and hopeful in the world.
All that has changed these past few years and I find myself looking into a vacant face struggling very hard to feel nothing. This is not a phase of teenage angst she's going through, it's a huge red flag waving in front of my face.
So today I turn her over to God and trust that she is in the proper place with people who can help her with her problems.
I'll be honest and tell you that I am so consumed with fear for her. I don't know if she's going to be ok and for a Mother/Parent I think this is the worst feeling in the world.
This brings me back to the mention of the death card.
I see an old way of life for both of us ending and a pin prick of a light at the end of the tunnel.
I am now in the position of letting go with love and focusing on sweeping my side of the street and taking care of myself. Something which I have not been too good at for quite a while now.
I guess I'm feeling that i must find a rainbow here or it would all be for nothing. I want to connect with my God and learn the lessons that are in front of me and keep moving forward in love and lightness.
If you have a quiet moment today, please send up a prayer for my daughter.
Count your blessings today, for they are many. Hug your child and tell the people that matter to you most how important they are in your lives.
With Love,
Linder
Monday, January 4, 2010
A few of my favorite things...
Hello all, Happy New Year!
Yesterday was a sad day. The day that comes every year when you know you must put away the Christmas decorations. Before I close up the boxes, I want to share some of my favorites with you...enjoy!
These candles are from my sister Dana. So Cool!
The 3 wise men were my Mothers. I grew up with these in our house. The little tree to the left is a creation from my daughter Elora. I think she was about 4 yrs. old when she made this for me! Those are the best gifts of all.
Another Elora original.
These cuties are new this year, aren't they adorable!?
So now it's time to lovingly wrap my treasures up and put them away for another year.
Here's to a prosperous and Happy 2010!
Much Love,
Linder
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
