My Michael Keaton moment...

I realize that I originally intended to use this blog to document the remodeling process of our new (old victorian) home in Evanston but that's going kind of slow as is the business of being a weekend wife, so today I'm going to tell you a little story.  A story I call my Michael Keaton moment.

Now for those who know me well, you would know that I'm pretty smitten with the likes of Michael Keaton.  There is something about a man with beautiful lips, gorgeous eyes and a yummy sense of humor that just kind of does it for me, you know? 

The first time he captured my attention, I was in the gym, on the treadmill reading some random 3 month old crap magazine that gyms and doctors offices certainly must cycle back and forth to each other.  ANYWAY I flip to an article on Michael Keaton...he's in a bubble bath and he's laughing.

That was the hook.  Pure unadulterated lust struck me.

That was in Washington State.

Fast forward several years and I'm living in L.A. working in the homes of the rich and famous.

I'm in my 30's, I have a pretty hourglass figure and hair down past my butt that I normally wear in one long braid. 

I get off work one day near a Malibu-ish little burb and I am begging.  I mean my day has been for shit and I'm crying when I get in my silver Chevy Lumina van (that's right, I was seriously styling back then) and I head for home.

I'm crying, driving with one hand, pulling the braid in my hair loose with the other and I glance over to my right and here is this handsome, handsome man on a bike.

I look at him and have this very clear thought " I want a man like that." 

He was dressed nicely and was sun kissed and he just was sheer yumminess.  The kind of yummy that grabs at you and whispers "Oh my!"

He stepped off his bike, looked straight at me, and smiled.  I smiled back.  He slid his sunglasses up his forehead just as I was driving past him.  And we were just smiling at each other.  Just a moment.

And then I thought, Sweet Jesus, that was Michael Keaton!

I slammed on my brakes...paused...looked in the rear view mirror. 

He was still there.

And I...paused again...and then kept driving.

I got scared!  What was I going to say?  I still had tears on my face for pity sakes!

It was a lovely, lovely moment.  My moment.

I never met him but came very close several times. 

I think I gave up when a co-worker of mine,  ironically, Michael's best friend, told me he would not introduce me because Michael only liked skinny girls.  He wouldn't like me, he said, I would just end up getting hurt.

In retrospect, I wonder if it ever occurred to that jackass that telling me that I was fat (btw, I weighed about 135 then) was a hateful and hurtful thing.  ugh.

I wonder every now and again if that lovely little moment on the street resonated with him as much as it did with me?  Maybe, possibly, perhaps.

I hope so.

The truth is that on a day when I felt very little love, a random person smiled at me and my world brightened a bit.  Regardless of who that was, it was so needed and I will always be grateful!

It's my birthday!

Today I am 50 years old!  Wow.  How did that happen?

Seems like yesterday when I was hanging out with my friends at Newport High School in the smoking area moaning about the hideous teddy bear coat that I wanted in 4th grade and my darling mother finally bought me in high school!

The things we suffer!  LOL!

Today I'm going to pick up my new glasses and hope that I can see out of them perfectly!  I'm going to buy a few Illinois state lottery tickets and I'm going to count every blessing in my life.

Not sure what I'm doing for the rest of the day but I'll figure it out as I go along.

Love,

Linder

Generation "ME"

In talking about our children who are in the age group of around 18 to 22 ish years of age, I've found out recently that they are tagged "Generation Me".  How appropriate is that?

I have been in touch with several friends and a few strangers here who have visited my blog and all of us have one thing in common.  Children who have no living or coping skills.

How did this happen?  It's not an isolated incident.  It seems that every parent that I talk to is having issues with their child.  They won't get a job or can't keep one.  They are disconnected from the realities of the world and beg to be saved on a regular basis.

I look back on my parenting and I wonder what I could have done differently. 

I heard a saying yesterday that went something like this "We can't move froward if we're looking in the rear view mirror".  Ouch.  I'm guilty of this especially right now.

If I could turn back the clock and do it all over again, I think I would have given my daughter more responsibility and taught her about money management.  I would have encouraged her to be accountable for her actions and to take responsibility for herself.

Having said this, I think that I have been very present and that I have given my child a shiny box of tools for her to use in her life.  But as a wise man once said "Just because you have a lot of tools, doesn't make you a carpenter"!  In other words you have to use them for them to work.  sigh.

I am trying desperately NOT to reside in morbid reflection.  Everything is as it should be in spite of the pain that it elicits.

So the best i can do today is to pray for God's will and not mine.  And ask for the grace to be quiet.  To reside in love and to move forward.

"We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."

As I said yesterday, I have a magical opportunity in front of me.  Am I brave enough to take it?  Can I put my big girl panties on today and utilize some of those shiny tools I have?

I think so. 

Hopefully this will not turn into "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride"!

Here's hoping our day is filled with unexpected abundance and the presence to say thank you when it comes!

With Love,

Linder

The Day after.

Good Morning!

The sun is shining and although I had a hideous night last night, full of worry, anger and general angst...it is a new day today.  I can make it whatever I want and today I choose to fill my day with love and hope.  For my daughter but mostly for myself.

I cannot be of service to anyone least of all myself if I do not cherish myself and take the opportunity i have in front of me to grow and change.

I'm going to get quiet with that thought today and all it entails.  I'll write more later if the clarity comes.

In the meantime, I want to thank all of you who left such lovely, supportive comments yesterday.  I welcome you in this journey.  Perhaps we can share our experience, strength and hope together.

I wish us all a day of blessings!

Much Love,

Linder

The Death Card

In a Tarot deck there is a card called the death card.  It is really ugly and frightening looking and most people assume that it means that someone is going to die.

On the contrary, it means that an old way of life, old habits etc. are dying and something new is forming from that.  Usually that something new is positive.

I have a beautiful daughter that is struggling with some pretty serious issues right now.

I made the very difficult choice to remove her from college in Boston and get her the help I feel she needs.

It was a tough weekend.  My child was not particularly present even though she was physically there.

I cried a lot.

Flying home on the plane yesterday, with my childs head resting in my lap all snuggled up in the blanket that her Auntie made her, I was reminded of happier times when she was a baby and would lie snuggled into me just the way she was at that moment. 

She was happy then and full of life.  She'd reach her arms out for me to pick her up and she would smell like everything beautiful and hopeful in the world.

All that has changed these past few years and I find myself looking into a vacant face struggling very hard to feel nothing.  This is not a phase of teenage angst she's going through, it's a huge red flag waving in front of my face. 

So today I turn her over to God and trust that she is in the proper place with people who can help her with her problems.

I'll be honest and tell you that I am so consumed with fear for her.  I don't know if she's going to be ok and for a Mother/Parent I think this is the worst feeling in the world.

This brings me back to the mention of the death card.

I see an old way of life for both of us ending and a pin prick of a light at the end of the tunnel.

I am now in the position of letting go with love and focusing on sweeping my side of the street and taking care of myself.  Something which I have not been too good at for quite a while now.

I guess I'm feeling that i must find a rainbow here or it would all be for nothing.  I want to connect with my God and learn the lessons that are in front of me and keep moving forward in love and lightness.

If you have a quiet moment today, please send up a prayer for my daughter.

Count your blessings today, for they are many.  Hug your child and tell the people that matter to you most how important they are in your lives.

With Love,

Linder

A few of my favorite things...

Hello all, Happy New Year!

Yesterday was a sad day.  The day that comes every year when you know you must put away the Christmas decorations.  Before I close up the boxes, I want to share some of my favorites with you...enjoy!

 These candles are from my sister Dana.  So Cool!

The 3 wise men were my Mothers.  I grew up with these in our house.  The little tree to the left is a creation from my daughter Elora.  I think she was about 4 yrs. old when she made this for me!  Those are the best gifts of all.

 Another Elora original.

These cuties are new this year, aren't they adorable!?

So now it's time to lovingly wrap my treasures up and put them away for another year.

Here's to a prosperous and Happy 2010!

Much Love,

Linder

Happy Dog!

This is the face of a very happy dog!

Hey Everyone!

Just a quick note to say that Christmas 2009 was a lovely success.  Dan and I chose to have a quiet day at home doing a lot of "nuthin'"  which for us was perfection!

I heard someone say the other day that the key to a happy, successful life is to find the calm in the midst of the storm.

Easier said than done sometimes but this is what we strived for on Christmas day.

There were lots of phone calls to family to connect and plenty of quiet moments for hugs, naps, walks in the snow with the puppy up above as well as some quality eating and watching some movies.

I am happy to report that I wouldn't have changed much.

We had a big snowstorm dumping about 6-8 inches in the Chicagoland area.  It was really beautiful and added to the serenity that surrounded our days off.

I hope all of your travels got you to where you were going, safe and sound and I especially hope that your holidays have been happy and stress free!

The pretty brunette is my good friend Jeri who's here for a visit and braved a snowstorm just to come and play with us!

Hmmm, not my best picture.  I'm wondering what was going on with my glasses!  Yikes.

Much Love,

Linder

And the winner is...

Teresa aka 1badmamawolf!  Woo Hoo!

Congratulations!

Please email me your address and I will send out your copy of "A Homemade Life"

Thanks to everyone who entered the contest.

I promise to have another one very soon.

Hugs,

Linder

The Magic Chaos

This is the "After" picture.   Sooooo pretty!

 

And this would be a portion of the "before"...not so pretty but certainly festive!  LOL!

I didn't feel like baking last night but in the line of finding and keeping my bliss on a daily basis, I asked myself "What would make me happy?"  The answer was "Let's watch movie's and wrap presents!"  So that's what I did.

I rented Julie & Julia on pay-per-view and enjoyed it so much.  Made me think a lot about blogging and what makes me happy.

I've got SO much to learn but love the adventure of blogging.

I would like to some day have a blog as popular and as beautiful as the pioneer woman.  If you haven't visited her site, you should it is pure reading yumminess!

On a personal note, I have to cram for a test tonight.  Ugh.

Seems I was in an all-fired rush to get to Evanston one morning and got caught doing 52 in a 35...yikes!

The good news is, that the officer did not write me a speeding ticket.  The bad news is that he wrote me 2 fix-it tickets...1. Get my Illinois drivers licence (hence the test) and 2. Get Illinois license plates.

So tonight instead of baking to my hearts content, I will be mastering the book so I can get my license tomorrow.

Hey any suggestions of what is and appropriate weight lie?  I'm over 160 right now, so I'm thinking 150 is reasonable for my license.  What do you think?  How much did you fudge on your license?

Enquiring minds want to know!

OK, today is the last day to enter my first ever blog contest!  Get your comments in and I will randomly choose a winner (names in a hat) after work tonight.

Thank you all for stopping in.  I am grateful for your presence!

Hugs,

Linder

Finding my Bliss!

Dan & Linda Christmas 2009

I just sat down to write and heard the timer go off in the kitchen.  My first batch of shortbread is done!

Like many of you at this time of year, my plate is full with my job, my home, my lovely daughter & boyfriend as well as my other family members and then there's the preparation for Christmas!

Calgon take me away...

My goal this year is to find my bliss, however small, every day.

My job can consist of very long hours but I've decided that this is just not the year I want to stop creating.  Probably because my job is so demanding and requires so much of me, I've chosen to seek out my joy in baking and sewing for the holidays.

My plan is brilliant!  I am dividing my projects up into small windows of time.  So, for instance, when I got home from work last night, I went through all my cookbooks, decided what I was going to make, went grocery shopping and then came home and made truffles and butterscotch haystacks.

It was fun and it was NOT an all day project.  I was in bed by 10:00 p.m. and so happy that I had carved some time out for me and my pleasure.

I hope that you can carve out some time for yourselves today and find your own bliss whatever it is.

Don't forget to enter my first ever blog contest.

In the comments section, please tell me how you "Celebrate the spirit of the season".

A winner will be randomly chosen tomorrow after work.

Much Love,

Linder

And so it begins...

I am bleary-eyed from a very long work day yesterday (14 hours) and dragging my poor behind around this morning much like I hadn't slept at all!

BUT with coffee in one hand and a pen in the other I begin to make the mammoth list that will commence the bacchanalia of the Christmas season in the Montgomery household today.

Woo Hoo!

It is not Christmas for me if I'm not creating something.  Funds are low this year so I find myself joyfully going back to my homemade holidays which everyone seems to love.

I am going to start baking tonight.  The fare includes but is not limited to: snickerdoodles, oreo cookie bark (so easy), cornflake marshmallow wreaths, butterscotch haystacks and  kourembides (those fabulous crescent shaped almond cookies rolled in powdered sugar).

Those items will be in the boxes I send out to my family.

I am going to attempt a nice biscotti for my step-mother who LOVES it as a treat with her coffee in the mornings.

OK, yes it's a lot to do but I am excited for my work day to zip by so I can get down to the business of merry making!

I hope you have scheduled in an activity just for yourself today that brings you bliss!

Speaking of which, don't forget to enter my "Spirit of the Season" contest today.

In the comments section of this blog, please share how you are celebrating the spirit of the holiday season.

On Friday I will pick a winner and send the lucky person out a copy of " A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg

Blessings to all!

Love,

Linder

Pictures were taken at the Chicago Botanical Gardens.

Counting down the days contest!

At this writing there are 11 days until Christmas!

I have not shopped much.  I have not begun baking.  I haven't even addressed 1 Christmas card yet! 

This morning though, in the quiet of my little coach house, it doesn't matter.  I feel the spirit of Christmas and that little umph, that little charge that I get that induces me to go out of my way to pay a kindness or to sit down and craft something special for someone.  Do you know what I'm talking about?

It is a magical feeling that I try to keep all year 'round.

I am having a little contest.  The prize is a copy of "A Homemade Life" by Molly Wizenberg

To enter, please tell me in the comment space of this blog "How you celebrate the spirit of the season"

I welcome you as a fan to my site.

The winner will be chosen the Friday Dec. 18th!

Good Luck and I look forward to hearing your lovely responses!

Hugs,

Linder

YIPPEE!

It's almost Thanksgiving and I'm making my lists.

This year I'm making a gluten-free AND a regular Thanksgiving so the challenges will be varied.

My camera battery charger finally came and guess what?  It was the wrong size.  I am happy to report that I found my original charger after scouring the house like a mad woman last night so there will be plenty of pictures to share from now on.  Phew!

I was outside this morning and took a few pictures of the last leaves hanging on.

Have a lovely Thanksgiving.  May it be filled with love and great companionship.

Love,

Linder

The Guest Room

I'm going to be gone for the weekend so will leave you with some fun before during and after pictures of our guest room.

We're camping out in here (no hardship) until the crack room (master bedroom) is done.  At this rate that may be a year or more. 

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

That's floral wall paper and orange carpeting.

This is a quirky little window that is short but opens like a door onto the roof.  Hmmmm, a deck someday perhaps?

 

A little dark but you get the idea.

 

Those are the "before" pics

Wallpaper down and the carpets up.  Pretty floors underneath that have been sanded.

Bookcases and shutters removed.  Dan is doing a bang up job of making all the trim match.  No small chore there since there are several different kinds throughout the house.

Finished floors!

Because of the slope of the ceiling, Dan ran trim around the room to create some depth.  FYI, the ceiling portion is white and the trim is a lovely warm beige. 

Starting to feel so light and bright!

Pretty rug on the floor.  hard to see but there are some lovely golds and blues in there.

TA DA!

I bought those sheers at an estate sale for $4.00 a panel!  They were a steal!

A little plain yet but we're planning a headboard right now and hanging the pictures. BTW, the night stands were another estate sale find...$15.00 ea.  Lamps - T.J. Maxx $15.99 ea.  My God but I love a bargain!

It's coming along!

another view.

That goofy window all dressed up!

I adore this dresser set.  Got this at, you guessed it, an estate sale for $400.00!

Me and my lovely Dad.

That's the guest room!  I hope you enjoyed the tour.  Have a wonderful joy filled weekend!

Me?  I'll be finishing up the sheers for the living room, hemming drapes and getting ready for Thanksgiving.

Pioneer Woman update

Any true Goddess of the blog would have a pictorial of this evenings event.

But, life has conspired against me with a dead camera battery so you must close your eyes (but not really) and imagine what I am about to describe to you in your most vivid minds eye.

So girlfriend Linda and I (both having had a less than sterling day) headed to Skokie with great anticipation of the evening ahead. 

After circling the parking lot like vultures looking for a space, we decided on the back 40 where no one in a big city ventures because it means you have to WALK to your destination.

The book store was controlled chaos.   We were handed numbers 236 and 237...236 & 237!? Sweet Mother of God how many people are here tonight?  By my calculations it came in at over 300 men (that's right) women and children.  Wow, and I mean WOW how cool is that?

Ree Drummond entered wearing some snappy looking boots and a new hair color.  I spied her handsome Marlboro man and 2 mini m&m's in tow.   2 cuter boys I've never seen.  Also very well behaved until Dad caught them cruising up and down the escalators! 

How do I know all of this?  I had a birds eye view from the balcony of the store, quietly waiting my turn to meet Ree, have my book signed and give her my blog address.  

Alas, I am sad to report that after a little over 1/2 an hour my resolve (and my bladder) started to slip.   When shifting from one foot to the other began to fail me, I noticed that my tummy started to sing a merry tune as well.  Hey, why not, the more the merrier I always say.

I think you see where this is going.  I bailed.  I know, I suck but it would have been hours before i got to the front of the line.  But here's my PollyAnna twist to the evening...

Linda and I got the gift of listening to Ree speak.  We were able to appreciate all the wonderful people who admire her and also came out to celebrate her new cookbook as well as herself.  That's pretty special!

Me, being me, I gave my number to a gal at the end of the line and made a bee line to the floor below where I spotted Marlboro Man and some seriously pretty t-shirts that they gave away to everyone who stopped by tonight.  That is some serious hospitality my friends!

I told Marlboro Man that I was bailing on account of my grumbling tummy (like I was seriously going to tell him I had to pee?)  Have you seen this man?  He is just flat out yummy.

OK, I digress...sorry.  ANYWAY, I got my Pioneer Woman cookbook and I gave my card with my blog address on it to Marlboro Man and asked if he would pass it along to Ree.  Can't hurt, right?  Who knows, Ree Drummond could be reading this right now and laughing her tiny behind off!  In my world that's how it looks anyway.

So I found a bathroom and then a restaurant and God love everyone who stuck it out because an hour and some change later the line was still there and so was Ree smiling beautifully and treating everyone as if they were the very first in line.  I consider that classy.

Maybe next book signing I'll get a chance to say hello.  Just for today I am happy for my evening and the laughter my girlfriend and I shared and the book that I bought and Lord but I was grateful for the bathroom that I found too. 

Thanks to Ree Drummond for showing up!  A great time was had by all.

Love,
Linder

P.S. pics of the t-shirt as soon as the new charger arrives.  I promise.

Pioneer Woman book signing tonight!

Tonight I'm going to Barnes & Noble in Skokie, IL to see Ree Drummond!  She's "The Pioneer Woman" and has a cookbook she'll be signing. 

I'm bringing a few of my favorite girls along to see Ree.  It promises to be a fun night out.  If you're in the area, stop by, and if you're not, check out her website http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/ I promise you'll enjoy the read and the pictures!  Who knows, she may be coming to a book store near you!

Hugs,
Linder

Floors!

We're onto the demo portion of the house but I thought it would be fun to show you the before during and after pictures!

Instant gratification is so nice, isn't it?  I wish it had been this fast when the floors were being done but in truth Dan got all the prep work done in record time.

We decided before he moved into the house that certain things had to be accomplished.  Painting and the floors were the top priorities.

This first bit is what the floors looked like after spending 20 odd years under carpet.

From what we can tell, the floor was refinished a lighter color AROUND the carpet that was on the floor.  It's a look!

 

This is the dining room.

 

Pet stains from years gone by were free and from what we were told, very difficult to lift out of the floors.  YIPPEE!

 

When the carpets got lifted in the entryway, Dan found asbestos tile had been laid on top of the hardwood floors.  research shows that if you're going to remove this by yourself the tile needs to be wet and you need to wear a mask. 

 

This is what the stairs looked like.  They had been painted brown and later black around the edges of where we think a runner had been.

 

Pretty!

 

Dining Room right after it had been sanded.  Now we're talking!

 

Living Room

 

The entry way and one of the prettiest pictures of me EVER!  Look at the contrast on the stairs.  Talk about making miracles happen!

 

Top of the stairs walking into the guest bedroom.  That stuff on the floor is a filler for between the cracks. Note to self, I'm fairly certain that last sentence was not the best representation on my use of the english language.

 

The Living Room "After" beauty, eh?

 

Dining Room

 

Stairs....oooooh aaaaaaah!

We went darker on the stain because there were so many nail holes.  Went a long way with masking them.

 

Guest Room

That's all of them!  I hope you enjoyed the process.  I couldn't swear to it but am fairly certain that Dan cried after this was completed!  That was a lotta work.  I'll get the names of the flooring contractor's.  They were very good and the total cost for the Living Room, Dining Room, Entry way, stairs, landing at the top and the guest bedroom was $1800.00!

Smokin' hot, right!?

More soon.

Linder

Note to self...

You know, I have these moments of extreme clarity and here's my moment for today.

Most if not all people in my age range (I'm 49) have difficulty with their weight, love handles, body image and let's say "shift" in where their waist used to be versus where it seems to be now!

I have refused to go to the gym for 4 months and some change now because I was ashamed that I'd put on weight.  Guess what?  Everyone is having this issue!  Except they're getting their happy butts into the gym whilst I stay at home and sob in my shredded spoonfuls.

You know what?  Sometimes I just wear myself out.

Below is the picture that got me motivated.  That chubby little face cried out for help and who was I to deny her?

The beautiful younger woman is my daughter Elora and her boyfriend Nolan.  And then there's my handsome guy, Dan.

I am happy to report that that face is marginally thinner but mostly more hopeful than when that picture was taken.

Much Love,

Linder

Camera Karma?

Happy Sunday All!

What a great weekend.  The weather was perfect for Fall.  Crisp with a decided bite in the air a smidgen of rain but nothing that got in our way and a whole lotta working in the house.

Dan and I went to this fabulous fabric store about 3 blocks away (how sweet is that?) and picked out some beautiful material for sheers on our windows.

You may ask why on earth I would choose to make sheers when I could buy them and the answers are simple.  I love to sew!

I'm not really good yet but thanks to my friend Brenda and the few lessons that I did take from her last year, I easily managed making the majority of the sheers this weekend and they turned out beautifully!

Yes, it can be a pain to iron, pin, measure, iron again and then sew but in the long run the payoff is so fantastic that it's worth every minute spent trying to get it right.  There is that part of me that screams "This must be perfect!" and in truth I will worry a peice of fabric until it's threadbare if I'm not careful but oh the joy I experience over the finished product.

I have to admit to the part of my day today when I wanted to throw the bloody sewing machine through the window and scrap the whole project BUT I was smart enough to "put the fabric down and walk away" when this happened.

Seems Amanda (our house) does not have even floorboards, so while my seams were perfect and my hems so beautiful you could cry, I found out (belatedly) that this doesn't mean everything will brush the floor like a whisper.  On the contrary.  Ahh well, you do what you can and battle the machine and finish the hemming another day!  LOL!

I mentioned before how excited I was to finally get my usb cable for my camera in the mail so I could post more pictures but alas the battery went dead and guess what?  That's riht, my charger is now conspicuously absent.  Ugh.

There are lots of demo pics to catch you up on, so until I find the blasted charger (or order a new one) I will continue to post.

Hang in there with me folks.  It's worth the wait!

I've got a tale about a squirrel and some pumpkins just ripe for documentation.

I hope you weekend was a lovely one!

Adios for now,

Linder

And then there was none...

Wallpaper that is!

OK, so here's my experience with wallpaper...

If applied correctly, we find that for the most part the stuff comes down in big sheets which fulfills my need for instant gratification.  As a matter of fact, we had a bid done for the entryway that came in at $2200.00.  This was to tear down, prep, spackle and paint.

What we found, after turning down that bid was that the work is not in removing the wallpaper but in the prep required to get the walls ready to be painted.

Word to the wise, talk to your local paint store.  I'm not talking about Home Depot and Lowes although God bless them we should own half those stores by now with what we've spent!  Talk to the guys at the "real" paint stores.  We went to Epco in Evanston.

What we found out a day late and a dollar short is that if you have walls that have been papered, even after you've washed and scrubbed them down with TSP, you need to use an oil based primer.

Ugh.  A water based primer will reactivate anything that remains on the wall and "stay wet".  Hence our issues with peeling paint later on.

Always good to do your research!  This is one of the reason why I'm chronicling all of this.  I hope to save you the time, trouble and tears (in my case) from just not knowing.